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Thread: Mixed race boys behavioural problems

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Minoh Shi, Osaka
    Posts
    171

    Default Mixed race boys behavioural problems

    Here's one for any parents out there,as this is the biggest group of long termers I know I'm putting it out there with you fellas.

    I've noticed with the children of my foreign friends, all Japanese wives that all the boys including my son has some form of ADHD/mild autism. The girls seem ok? Anyone else noticed this or do I just have weird friends? I noticed more recently with my son, he's mostly fine and good but can get aggressive with me (he's 9) but at school the problem is getting worse. Because of this he's run out of friends so only the worst kids will hang out with him which is a bad influence and making it worse. There is some kind of social problem happening, he seems to have a persecution complex or something.

    Because of my work I don't get to see him in the evening before he goes to bed, but my wife lets him use phones/games I think too much but when I mention this might be part of the problem she refuses to listen and believes minecraft etc are educational. I said perhaps so, but a smartphone addiction is doesn't mix with ADHD, but she won't have it.

    On the occasions I have banned all devices I've seen an improvement, just I don't get the support from the misses.

    Anyone have a similar experience?
    Cheers

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Kyoto
    Posts
    4,190

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    i don't have any experience but i would suggest consulting a professional - psychiatrist/psychologist. your wife might not respect your opinion but hopefully she will listen to a professional.

    good luck buddy!


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Kyoto
    Posts
    2,981

    Default Mixed race boys behavioural problems

    Just curious is your wife a stay at home mom? I ask as it seems to make a difference a lot of the stay at home moms we know think like your wife does and just allows didital usage un-checked.
    We have a chid who’s 8 and a1/2
    My wife who’s a PhD and I both work but due to the location of my businesses I’m always there when she gets home.
    My wife and I both see the dangers of smart phone and digital addiction. We allow only 30 minutes of digital time a day and encourage socializing and playing outside.
    Just our point of view.👍
    Getting to the Summit is Optional, Returning home is mandatory
    Life begins at 155mph

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Yamaguchi-ken N. of Shimonoseki
    Posts
    366

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    Try to get him into sports. Of course, baseball is easy. 2 gloves, a ball and a bat. Why 2 gloves, one for you. Sports with the father is timeless. I raised our daughter here with NO smart phone, so yes, I agree, smart phones and them little games "must" be controlled. I expect now, my daughter also won't her 2 kids have smart phones, which is good. A home computer and a home phone, kind of like the old days without a computer.
    I notice having a smart phone and while on the train, I get lost in time just reading the news on it and suddenly after 60 minutes (which seems like 20 minutes) I'm at my destination. I don't like the idea of children having a smart phone. Yes, what about if they get into trouble or lost. I don't know about that one.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Minoh Shi, Osaka
    Posts
    171

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    Haildamage, thanks mate, actually, when I got home that night she had heeded my advice, but she'd never admit that to me, she's done that before. Anyway over the weekend I saw a big improvement just because of the banned smartphone. He had the right hump with me Friday night because I had made his mother put a pin number on the phone!!

    Racer162, Thanks. She is in part time work and is a typical Japanese mum who puts the kids in too many classes, however she has reduced them recently which has helped reduce her stress.

    Adventurous Biker, Yes great advice. We take him to BMX, motocross, mountainbiking, skateboarding. plus play in the park, but motivating him once he starts the damn phone is a nightmare. This weekend with it banned was 100% better. Still at the park when he sees kids he knows, he won't ask if he can play with them, I have to ask for him, then I have to play with all of them!! Still back to his social problem though.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Kyoto
    Posts
    2,981

    Default Mixed race boys behavioural problems

    Mention the sports, our daughter had an interest in soccer so she joined the local city soccer club and she loves it and then she also races motorcycles Welp many bikes and she loves being outside and limiting her use of digital devices inside to 30 minutes a day is a big plus. And honestly sometime she doesn’t even use it all. Sometimes she doesn’t use it at all
    Getting to the Summit is Optional, Returning home is mandatory
    Life begins at 155mph

  7. #7

    Default

    Sounds like there are a lot of great Dads on here. My first one is coming soon, will be coming back for advice..

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